(Advt) Coming Soon: The Oople iMplant™

Get ready for . . .

images-1No more fiddling with buttons or touchscreens.

No more recharging hassles.

No more misplacing it, having it stolen, or dropping it in the bathtub.

No more confusing features to figure out.

imagesNo more pushback from dweebs annoyed by your chatter.

No more dorky glasses on your face.

The future is now.

You’ll never look back.

You may never look anywhere else.

Introducing . . . The Oople iMplant™.

images-2The Oople iMplant™ will be installed directly into your brain. (Our bioengineers have located there a space for it, that you weren’t really using anyway.) Quick, painless, and conveniently available at any Ooplestore.

Here’s how it works: by reading your mind. Yes. After all, it’s right in there, in fact it’s part of your mind. Ever wonder how you know what you’re thinking? Philosophers have puzzled over this for eons. But it doesn’t matter, because whatever way you know what you’re thinking, Oople iMplant™ will know it too. However – and here’s the killer – unlike your old analog brain, confined inside your skull – Oople iMplant™ will be wirelessly connectedto everything!

So, say you need a recipe for ratatouille. Simply think that thought, and Oople iMplant™ will search the web, get an answer, and download it right into your mind. It’s just that easy!

UnknownAnd if you want to phone your girlfriend – merely think it – and Oople iMplant™ will connect you. What’s more, the conversation will be totally private, because it will take place inside your brain. 

If that sounds a lot like telepathy . . . well, welcome to Oople iMplant™!

Unknown-1Can it teleport you too? No.

But we’re working on that.

Oople: “Making tomorrow today.”


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7 Responses to “(Advt) Coming Soon: The Oople iMplant™”

  1. Chad Says:

    This sounds fantastic. Will it have a camera feature?

  2. rationaloptimist Says:

    Thanks, Chad, glad you asked. OF COURSE it will have a camera. In fact, since your two eyes will serve as lenses, the pictures will be 3-D!

  3. Chad Says:

    Hmm. If the iMplant will know my thoughts . . . and it’s connected to everything . . . will that mean the government could know my thoughts?

  4. rationaloptimist Says:

    Don’t be paranoid, Chad.

  5. EriK Says:

    The Singularity Is Near

  6. Social Engineering Says:

    Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite
    justification seemed to be on the net the easiest thing
    to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries
    that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and
    defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a
    signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  7. Schlienbecker Alexander Says:

    Hey, I want to know more about this phenomanal idea.
    My name is Alexander from Germany and I am a visionär and I want to figure out whats possible to develope as soon as possible concerning the subconscious mind and its uncontrolled ways of destracting each persons way of being happy.
    Please contact me!

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